noʎ ʞɔnɟ

(via i-am-not-superheroooo)

when people tell me to change my perspective 

(via youcantescapeyouself)

(via broken-but-nobody-cares)

asian:

i’m single by choice
just not my choice

(via gnarly)

Sunday / 238 notes / reblog

lanashiftdelrey:

coming out of your room at 3 am and seeing your parents

image

(Source: goatish, via pokaemon)

perks-of-being-chinese:

when i was a kid, i asked my dad where babies came from and he said something like “ur mom had a stomach ache and she went to the bathroom n then came out with you” and i feel like thats his way of calling me a piece of shit

(Source: perks-of-being-chinese, via chocolatesmarties)

What You Crave vs What You Need
  • Chocolate: Raw nuts/seeds.
  • Oily/Fatty Snacks: Kale, leafy greens.
  • Soda/Carbonated Drinks: Actual, literal bubbles.
  • Chips/Salty Food: Topsoil.
  • Cookies: Freudian psychology.
  • Sweet Tea: A strong Southern gentleman to take care of you.
  • Pasta/Carbs: Pasta/Carbs.
  • Ice: The sweet release of death.

sarahkeilman94:

when i was little i thought food poisoning meant that someone had literally poisoned your food and one time my sister got food poisoning from mccdonalds so i told everyone at school that the drive thru guy tried to kill my sister

(via gnarly)

tupacvevo:

tupacvevo:

someone give me a job

image

i was thinking something in retail

(via cage-the-nicolas)

Sunday / 29,943 notes / reblog
operativesurprise:

bigbootsandscaryeyes:

sammiwolfe:

fleshcircus:

thats the worst shit only because my mom basically always thought I was being a little bitch when I’d complain that it still hurts your eyes

WAIT I THOUGHT IT MEANT THAT IF YOU GOT IT IN YOUR EYES IT WOULDN’T BURN (no crying)
ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT IT’S SAYING NO RIPPING?
*FLIPS TABLES* THIS IS WHY THE ENGLISH WRITTEN LANGUAGE IS CONFUSING AS FUCK I AM SO SORRY NON-NATIVE ENGLISH SPEAKERS.

Why doesn’t it say fucking anti tangle?!

I JUST MADE BOTH MY PARENTS READ THIS I AM SO ANGRY
THEY ARE ANGRY
WE JUST HAD AN ARGUMENT ABOUT ‘TIER’ ‘TEAR’ AND ‘TEAR’
THEY THOUGHT IT MEANT NO CRYING TOO
I AM SO ANGRY

happy birthday to me 🎉

all-color-absent:

“fuck it” tends to be the last thought running through my mind before making any final decisions

(Source: profound-sins, via kallililly)

Saturday / 542,130 notes / reblog
totallynotmisha:

2002bape:

YOOOO SO LOOK DA FIRST TIME I EVER GOT ON DIS RIDE I WAS WITH A WHITE FAMILY AND U KNOW WHITE FOLKS CRAZY SO DEY DONT FEAR ROLLER COASTERS OR DEATH IN GENERAL. AFTER ABOUT 10 MINUTES OF TELLIN DEM DAT I DIDNT WANNA GET ON I FINALLY SAID YES CUZ I AINT NEVER BEEN NO BITCH AND I DIDNT PLAN ON STARTING THAT DAY. WHEN DA ENGINEER SAID “PLS LEAN BACK AND KEEP THE BACK OF UR HEAD PRESSED AGAINST YOUR SEAT” AND I SAW EVERYBODY STICK DA BACK OF THEIR HEADS TO THE CHAIR I KNEW DAT I MADE DA WORST DECISION OF MY LIFE CUZ I EVEN SAW SOME BLACK FOLKS LISTEN AND U KNOW DAT WHEN BLACK PEOPLE LISTEN A WHITE LADY’S ADVICE , ITS DA REAL DEAL. SO MY FIRST MISTAKE WAS REFUSING TO PRESS MY HEAD AGAINST THE SEAT… THE RIDE TAKES OFF AND MY DOME SLAMS AGAINST THE CHAIR WHILE MY NECK SNAPPED… UNCONSCIOUS INSTANTLY.. WHEN I AWOKE FROM MY 3 SECOND SLUMBER WE HAD REACHED DA VERY TOP OF THE RIDE WHERE THE RIDE MAKES A QUICK PAUSE… WHEN THE RIDE MADE THAT PAUSE I OPENED MY EYES CAUSE I THOUGHT THE RIDE WAS OVER AND WE ALL MADE IT SAFELY. BOY WAS I WRONG… I OPENED MY EYES AND DA ONLY THING I SAW WAS A 300 FOOT DROP STRAIGHT TO DA GROUND SO I SAID “GOD YOU CANT LET ME DIE LIKE DIS”. I THINK I SUFFERED A HEART CONTUSION CUZ MY HEART JUST COMPLETELY STOPPED BEATING… AND THAN THE RIDE TAKES OFF AGAIN… WE MAKE THE 300 FOOT DROP AND I SCREAM MY LUNGS OUT AS IM SCARED TO DEATH BECAUSE DA ONLY TIME A HUMAN SHOULD BE DAT HIGH IN DA AIR IS WHEN THEIR SPIRIT IS BEING SUCKED INTO HEAVEN BY DA GRACE OF GOD.. SO WE SAFELY MAKE IT TO DA END OF DA RIDE AND WHEN WE GET OFF I STUMBLE OUT OF THE SEAT CUZ MY LEGS WENT NUMB AND ALL THE AIR WAS SUCKED OUT OF MY BODY SO I COULDNT TALK EITHER.. DA FIRST THING THESE CRAZY MOTHERFUCKERS TELL ME IS “HEY MAN LETS DO THAT AGAIN THAT WAS WICKED”. I LOOKED AT DEM AND I REALIZED DAT DIS WHITE KID DAT I BEFRIENDED WAS ACTUALLY SATAN. I NO LONGER HAVE ANY WHITE FRIENDS.

please read this whole thing.