troyesivanismyqueen:

troyesivanismyqueen:

i don’t think i’ll ever be ready to be a parent i can’t even raise a spider how do u expect me to kill a child

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oh good god i fucked up

(via giiirrrlllmyballsbeitchy)

leader-of-standing-purgatorians:

princess-romanova:

So I hadn’t yet come out to my mum and today I got home to see that someone had changed the cover on my bed to this

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And then I saw that they left a note on the bed, so I went over to take a look at it and

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My mum is the best 

Whenever I see this I think well what if you weren’t gay and you came home one day to this

(via giiirrrlllmyballsbeitchy)

interiorly:

I hate it when someone is hot and funny like stop that you only get one

(via wherethestoriesbegin)

resetty:

what if websites had closing hours

(Source: pokabu, via bastille)

santalinson:

"we’ll be watching a movie in class today"

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"here’s the packet of questions you’ll have to answer while watching"

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(Source: upallnighted, via fake-mermaid)

  • Iggy Azalea as a painter: First things first I'm a realist

bullied:

i like online shopping and putting everything i want in a cart then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab

(via grasshair)

shuckl:

wildy0ungbeautiful:

shuckl:

could i pay someone to take over my body who actually knows how to look after it so they can like. make me healthy again and then let me take over once i’m fit n healthy

You mean a personal trainer and a nutritionist

no i mean some sort of supernatural being who can do literally all of the work for me

(via dearlittlelamb)

4thofjulys:

now we play the game called “are people setting off fireworks or is there are a drive-by going down my street”

(Source: literallyrad, via likeigiveabother)

Friday / 232,865 notes / reblog
phrux:

leakinginklikeblood:

lifemadesimple:

Plate Etiquette 

I did not know this.  

The fuck is wrong with rich people ‘hey do you want a second plate’ no i want to make up a secret passive aggressive fork language so we can titter mockingly at that rube from the country who says he enjoyed the meal with his fucking mouth

westernkanye:

my voice is girly when I talk to strangers but when I’m with friends I turn into morgan freeman

(via myhousebuiltdoubt)

unthroning:

I really want someone. Someone who I can be myself around, completely silly or completely serious. A person who will laugh along at my stupidest jokes or hold me when I’m sad. A person to go out and walk around the city with, going wherever we please, or just stay at home with and watch movies all night. We’ll eat whatever we want and sleep whenever we want. Just be there for each other. Just someone to love.

(via pizza)

astonishingly:

buffering more like suffering

(via fake-mermaid)

Thursday / 97,973 notes / reblog
fefempress:

daddyjared:

who remembers these

OK LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THIS LITTLE BITCH RIGHT HERE OK THESE WERE CALLED PIXEL CHIX BUT THEY SHOULD HAVE BEEN CALLED PRODUCTS OF SATAN SO WHEN I WAS SEVEN I WAS ALL UP AND INVESTED, I HAD THE OTHER HOUSES TOO THAT SHE WOULD GO IN AND TALK TO HER STUPID FUCKING FRIENDS RIGHT WELL THEN AFTER A WHILE I STOPPED PLAYING AND A YEAR LATER I PICKED IT BACK UP THE HOUSE WAS QUIET AND COVERED IN FUCKIN COB WEBS, ALL THAT COULD BE HEARD WAS A SLOW CREAKING FROM THE STAIRS THE LIGHTS FLICKERED AND THIS FUCKING BITCH LOOKED LIKE SHE HAD
HELL TO PAY SHE WASN’T MOVING OR SAYING ANYTHING SHE JUST LOOKED AT ME WITH A SCOWL HER CLOTHES WERE TORN AND DUSTY AND SHE JUST LOOKED BEAT THE FUCK UP I WAS SO AFRAID I FUCKING SHUT THAT SHIT OFF AND NEVER PICKED IT BACK UP AGAIN FUCK THIS BITCH